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She claimed she was merely supporting her friend through breast cancer, but I discovered text messages between them that were sexual in nature. Jane's name has been changed. Once you have come to terms with the injustice of your situation, you will be able to think logically. I wouldn't say the sex is great, because my heart isn't in it — actually, when I've been involved with a woman, the sex with him has been better — but when you weigh it up against everything else… We're great friends and we love each other. I remember the exact date my parents told me:

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Paula Hall, relationship psychotherapist with Relate What the expert thinks It would be extremely difficult for anyone to cope well with the changes you have experienced during the past few years.

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Gay love: When a husband or wife comes out

Did I miss the signs? We have three sons. What if I get bullied? It's wonderful when it happens, but it's not enough to give up the life I've got. In retrospect perhaps we should have discussed things more but then it would have emphasised our differences to other families. She refuses to have sex with me.

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Only one girl ever asked me outright. If anything ever happened to my husband, I couldn't imagine being with another man. I thought it would help, but I regretted it afterwards because she was quite upset and shocked. That's why I've never had any interest in men, never had a type — because I didn't fancy any of them. This is an entirely understandable reaction. Is there anyone who can do this? I remember the exact date my parents told me:

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